we are in a new month, the month of March, the month everything changed for me, the month I lost my beloved daughter.
I still can't believe she's gone, and not here with me. It hurts so much when I think of her. She showed me what true love was. I loved her so much that it just hurts. Nothing makes sense anymore. Life feels so empty without her. My tears run every time I remember our time together. Every time her picture shows up on my phone, my heart drops. It feels like an eternal pain.
Sometimes I dream about her, that we are happy .. then I wake up and feel how empty it is. It feels like I am living in a dark hole, that I have fallen into a dark mindset.
Everything feels so black and white.
I remember when I first gave birth to her, at first glance I did not want to be separated from her. It felt too perfect to be true. I couldn't believe she chose me to be her mother. I could face everything, because it was me and her against the world. It has always been my dream to have a daughter, and God gave her to me. A dream that became true, but later came crashing me.
I know she is in a better place now, and that she is waiting for me, and that God had his plans and that He has a better plan for me. I just hope that it will be easier for me to live with this pain and emptiness. Losing a child is the most difficult trial anyone can go through, I hope the reward is greater.